Friday, January 06, 2006

could you fetch the z file for me, colette?


working at a jewish day school, and being secular, is like witnessing the israeli government in action on a daily basis. one cannot decide how the people that are running the place got there, (usually a revolving door of administrators and board members), everyone talks through and over everybody else (especially evident at staff meetings) and it's generally way noisy, chaotic, but also lively and full of life. i have been employed here for almost twenty years, and aside from the daily aggravation of returning home with my ears ringing from the noise, the only thing that still amazes me is the staff meetings.

granted, they have improved significantly since the school seems to have moved from a conservative school of torah study to a community school, nevertheless, the same subjects debated over years drives me nuts.

our drama teacher, larry, a talented,devout gay catholic man, has given himself the job of drawing names to take the minutes of the meetings. we all dread this because it means we cannot mark math papers at the back of the library, or send cartoons back and forth to one another. we have to pay attention, as we will be asked to submit the minutes.

in the past five years, i have avoided being selected by bribing larry. i feed him chocolate, and send him dirty e-mail jokes. last wednesday, larry dramatically swished around the cookie tin and drew a name. it was not me, of course, but judith, a teacher from argentina. impossible she said, unless someone is willing to translate from spanish. i, for some sick reason, offered to do it for her. as i sat scribbling vague partial sentences,struggling to keep focused on the meeting and shoving kosher raspberry fig newtons into my mouth, i realized may be my only chance to make my mark with my secretarial skills.....in the event i am ever fired for insubordination.

i present the foundation of my new career.

STAFF MEETING MINUTES
Wednesday, January 4, 2006
Respectfully submitted by secretary extraordinaire, Colette


Food : Better than average. Instead of those nasty little white and brown hockey pucks masquerading as Girl Guide cookies, we were treated to raspberry fig Newton type things (quite tasty) and juice boxes, as well as an array of tea, coffee, bottled water and other cookies that I personally didn’t indulge in but looked inviting. A thank you to Donna and Cathy for feeding us.

Time Management: Shockingly well done. Meeting was pronounced over at the stroke of 4:30. This phenomenon could be a result of several variables……

-plastic chairs are not comfortable and make people want to leave quickly.
-we all finally agree on something, thus not needing to beleaguer points over and over.
-the fact that there were about ten guys in suits circumnavigating the school (reportedly plain clothes police officers) made everyone want to get the hell out of there.

Regardless of the reason, here’s what went down.

1) Timetables and Prep Periods

The deal is that some people have a ton of prep and others have pathetically few. Cathy and Donna will work to ensure work loads are considered when adding or removing prep periods to provide the minimal amount agreed to after the collective agreement was ratified.

2) Open House

Cathy reported that the board is more than interested in having an open house. Fortunately, Cathy opted for a day event, and not a family-teacher-student camp retreat that would involve packing toothbrushes and seeing students on a Sunday morning over a pancake breakfast. Open discussion was encouraged to discuss possible dates for this event. Sally Piccinato optimistically suggested the 30th of June.

The month of April was generally agreed on, provided it doesn’t interfere with all of the ‘Yoms’ that tend to pile up, after all, an open house on Israel Independence Day may be a wee bit much. It was also pointed out that having a class of 25 with parents and grandparents in the room all day may be a bit crowded.


Another committee was struck, and Tamara, Faidra and Sharon have volunteered. If you wish to be a member of this committee and are not tied up with the graduation committee, young entrepreneurs committee, Strathcona, sports day, guest artist committee, literacy/school wide write committee, all the yom committees, pesach committee, tote committee, Purim committee, uniform committee, lunchroom reformation committee, Remembrance Day/Kristallnacht committee, Terry Fox run committee, industrial first aid committee, earthquake committee, yoman committee, Special Education committee, pro-d committee, collaborative planning committee, musical committee, Hannukkah committee, staffroom clean up committee, staff advisory committee, strategic planning committee, negotiating committee, vttta committee, shabbaton committee, choir, or parking committee, please consider volunteering.


3) Pink slips, er….I mean pink forms

Please submit pink absentee forms ahead of time if you are able to. Also, a list of substitute teachers will be typed out so each teacher may know who is available to sub. That said, a reminder was given that while teachers are free to request certain subs, not to book your own subs, but to please call Denise.

4) Another Open House

On January 11, 2006 there will be an early childhood open house that will take place in the morning. Loris will be displaying N4 artwork in the library showcase, and the rest of the bulletin boards need to be changed and done before this day.

5) Counselor

Jessica is off on maternity leave beginning this Friday. J Mention was made of the impact she has had here and the many students she was able to guide, thus taking the owe ness off of the staff and administration. In the meantime, she will not be replaced, but Donna and Cathy will be taking over any student issues/crisis/problems until Jessica returns.

Bon Courage, Jessica!! We will miss your calm and capable presence.

6) Bingo Night

On January 26, (Thursday) a Bingo night will be held to raise funds to purchase much needed televisions, vcr’s and dvd players to replace our antiquated ones. Funds raised will also be used to contribute to the cost of petrol for the school bus, and towards the cost of Strathcona.

Teachers were asked to collect the bingo items that will be coming in, and volunteers have been arranged to assemble the prizes.

Time: 6:30-9:00 p.m.

Bingo caller-outers- Fred and Rabbi

Back up bingo caller-outer- Larry

There was some talk about crowning the King and Queen of Bingo but it sounded so weird I didn’t write it down and now it’s 10:00 at night and I have forgotten. So sue me.

7) Uniform Committee

It’s baaaaaaaack! This never ending committee has a new round of members. They are, Ellen, Ahuva, Faidra and Lisa. Good luck.

8) E.S.L.

More students with E.S.L. requirements have registered at Talmud Torah. Cathy has applied for an emergency grant to the Federation to hire an E.S.L. resource instructor. Position will be posted internally as well.

9) Strategic Planning Goals

They are:

-student achievement and quality education
-mutual respect and collaboration
-spiritual development
-strong leadership
-school climate
-enlarging staffroom and adding a sundeck. O.k., that’s a lie.


Well, that’s about it folks. Judith sends her regrets for not rising to the occasion of secretary, but since there is no one to translate Spanish, she has promised me extra prep time and a cheese panini from Safeway in exchange for doing this.


XO

Colette




2 comments:

Sandy Montgomery said...

I started laughing at "There was some talk about crowning the King and Queen of Bingo but it sounded so weird I didn’t write it down and now it’s 10:00 at night and I have forgotten. So sue me." and am still laughing.

We must meet.

Keeks said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I don't know what to say...
NOTHING HAS CHANGED!